One Year

david and i had a bit of an extended anniversary celebration this year, since we were going to be in south africa on the actual date. we decided to have a special date night a few days before departure. we got dressed up to eat a delicious dinner at Red China Bistro on Ingersoll. we had fantastic hot & sour soup and deliciously light and flaky crab rangoons. while our main courses were good, we kept thinking that thai flavors still might do the best curry in town. 

back home, we exchanged cards and gifts. i got david a bike seat since he rides often and his old one is falling apart. david completely surprised me (i actually didn't even think he'd gotten me a gift) when he pulled out a small, wrapped package that had been hidden in a drawer. it was a bracelet i'd looked at over a month before in valley junction when we'd been out shopping with my sisters during a farmer's market. it's handmade with vintage buttons and reminds me of fossil, but cooler because it's local. 

i figured we had our anniversary covered, but david had been plotting for our time in south africa too. on the morning of july 17th, we woke before 6 AM to go on a "lion walk" with the team. this wasn't planned by david, but the rare opportunity just happened to fall on the morning of our anniversary (there are only 3 places in the world that allow lion walks). we drove north to a lion conservatory, and were greeted by 5 or 6 guides who worked with and trained the lions. they had these rules for us before we entered into the lion walk:

1. don't separate yourself from the group, they'll see you as weak
2. don't bend down to pick anything up, they'll see you as smaller (and more edible)
3. no dangling scarves or drawstrings, they'll want to play
4. no shorts or skirts, they'll see/smell your skin and want to "play"
5. no purse or bags because guides carry a bag w/meat in it (you don't want to be mistaken for the meat carrier).
6. don't pull their tails (what?!?!).
6. don't run.

as we stood outside the gate, our friend dan summed it up well: "they look a lot bigger than i thought they'd be..."

centuries of human development, reasoning, and instinct screamed warning sirens inside my head as we walked through the electric fence and into the park, where 2 lively young male lions waited eagerly to get out and walk with us.

at first, i didn't plan on actually touching the lions. i figured it was enough to walk alongside them and do my best to breathe regularly and not make eye contact (sure that if they saw my eyes, they'd see the petrified fear encased within, and would realize that i'd be an easy, curled-up-on-the-ground-wimpering snack if they chose to so much as take a step towards me). 

these were not lazy, lethargic, fat lions. they were young, robust, and you could see their ribs. they chased each other, stalking one another in the long grass and pouncing like springs with roars and paws and sharp teeth. but the guides insisted on grabbing our camera and telling us where to touch them. walking with them was a rush. some might say this excursion was a commercialization of wild animals, or a waste of money, or a gimmick. but when you're touching the indifferent, sinewy back of a calculated, wild predator, with nothing stopping him from turning and maiming you... you're breath catches in your throat. you feel nothing but awe and absolute humility. those few moments of connection are surreal. 

not a bad way to start our anniversary. and we left with all our limbs and appendages intact, to boot. 

that night, david surprised me again. he'd been emailing with the blessmans to see if there was a way we could do a special dinner together on the night of our anniversary. i figured we'd gotten all of our festivities out of the way by now so, when jim asked me to accompany him to the giftshop at the nearby lodge, i didn't think anything of it. 

the power had been out all day in the village, and so we pulled up to a dark lodge and a man named Conrad waiting for us. jim dropped us off there and said he'd be back in bit. we ended up having a candlelit dinner in the shikwaru lodge restaurant, and we were the only ones there. we had a few courses that came out: stuffed mushroom, then a salad and rolls, then the main course was chicken and kudu, grilled veggies and fries. dessert was cheesecake. Conrad is the head chef there, and is from zimbabwe. he was cooking in the back using gas lanterns for light. he came out and chatted with us for a long while about his life and family, and i loved every moment. only in africa would the head chef hang out and talk with you during your anniversary dinner that he cooked in the dark. it was so thoughtful of david to arrange it. 

it was an incredible way to celebrate our first year together. it was so thoughtful of david. i am amazed at how this year has flown by. we've learned so much, and we've also had so much fun. i've laughed more this year, (and lightened up more this year), than any other year of my life. hanging out with my husband is endlessly fun to me, because we get each other. i'm humbled that i get to share this life with him, and i can't wait to see what the next year will bring.

afreeka

i sit in a giant house on a game lodge - the shikwaru game lodge to be exact. my husband and most of our team are still huddled around a campfire outside, making an african version of s'mores (with biscuits, cadbury chocolate, and pink marshmellows).

but before you envision us all roughing it in the bush, let me tell you the ways that this africa is different from the one that i remember: i sit in a gorgeous, modern house with a heater on, because the air is cold and crisp outside. i also have a bed. with actual sheets. in a room to itself. with an ELECTRIC BLANKET. toilets have seats. and you can flush them. water from the faucet is drinkable. there are actually paved roads. people know english. black children don't run screaming "white ghost" when they see me. there is no traditional, tribal clothing. there are no mud houses with thatched roofs. i don't have to bathe with a bucket of cold water and a cup. western influence is heavy (on our first night we stopped at a wimpy burger and were seated beneath a huge tv screen stuck on VH1 music videos).

these things threw me off for a couple of days. i almost missed the roughing it, and the lack of supplies and sanitation. i sort of liked being pushed to my physical limits. not to mention that i have been in the most desolate places in the world, but at least those places were untouched by the media and the modern influences of our looming western society (yesterday, a 4th grade boy listed nicki minaj as he named off of famous people that he loved, and something in me just decided that was wrong).

but this is still undeniably africa. i may have to look a little harder to see it, but africa isn't really about the conditions or the clothing. it is about the resilience, the joy, the hope and the heart of the people here. here is the africa i know and love... heartbreaking as it may seem at times: i sit down with high school girls who have watched friend after family member after friend die in the last year, and still they are able to see God's hand. i talk to young children about their future and they want to be social workers, lawyers, doctors, accountants... and they want to stay in south africa to help others. women who can't speak my language laugh with wide, missing-toothed smiles as they hug me and call me sister. grandmothers feed their grand babies, because mom and dad have died of AIDS. children share food with each other. we sit in wide circles and play "duck, duck, monkey" in a haze of kicked up red dust. donkeys and goats take their sweet time crossing the road. fanta is available for mass consumption. church is hours long, with endless, joyous clapping and singing. kids are still kids.

....

today, we spent time at a feeding center. our cars pulled up to a huddle of little orphans and their caretakers as they sat in plastic chairs under the shade of a few sparse trees. the children had started shouting "white people! white people!" in their language as soon as they saw the cars turn down the road. they ran to the cars with outstretched arms, begging to be picked up and held. i sat on a dusty step with little girls as they stroked my strange blond hair and tried to braid it with deft, swift little hands. they touched my skin, they marvelled at my veins and fingertips. they were full of wonder and curiosity.  and though i've had similar experiences before, i'd never trade those moments for anything. they are the beauty of africa. small bridges are built, and the moments become impressions on our spirits. those impressions can change the course of our lives.

something always happens to me in africa. my heart is heavy, but full.

and i never ever want to leave.

Estes Park, Colorado

the day after VBS, david and i left for a week of service in colorado. we were at the church at 5:45 AM on a saturday, standing around with a bunch of fuzzy, squinting high schoolers and their slightly wary parents. we were driving 2, 16-passenger vans. we had 17 kids and 6 total chaperones. i had no idea what i was in for.

i was exhausted from vbs. the last thing i wanted was another "tough" week of being the zion staff person. i was tired of logistics, of mental exertion, of putting on the front of happy, peppy, "on"version of myself. i wanted to be fully there, fully present, in colorado, but i was worried i'd be distracted and distant. thankfully, God knew my heart, He knew my worries and my insecurities. and He gave me the gift of an absolutely beautiful week. it was an answer to every prayer i had. i've hesitated to write about it for so long because i'm afraid my words don't do it justice. it was like taking a vacation with 20 of my closest friends.

DAY 1: The Drive, Ollies, and the Drug-station

we departed the zion parking lot around 6:13 AM, armed with walkie talkies and coffee (david had to pee a record amount of times in those first few hours). we traded trucker lingo back and forth with carlie and tony (two of the most amazing leaders/people/friends EVER, oh my goodness i loved serving with them), and listened to music quietly as kids slept. we arrived to "Big Ollies" in kearney, nebraska around 1, and let's just say i was not prepared. the place was a big old saloon-style dive restaurant, but the thing that overwhelmed me was the fact that ollie had been quite the hunter back in the day. there were the following (including but not limited to) animals taxidermied onto the walls: a giraffe, an elephant, a polar bear, dozens of members of the gazelle/deer/antelope family, and a jackrabbit. it was a little nauseating... in a kitchy, good way.

further into colorado, when i was driving with carlie and tony & david were leading the other van, david led us to the creepiest, sketchiest gas station i've ever been to. as soon as we arrived, i hopped out of our van and got solicited by a drug dealer (no joke - "you girls like perfume?? i've got some in the back of my van, come see it" - and carlie yelling "NO THANK YOU. NO THANK YOU."). same thing happened to the other van. tony came over to us and said "do you have everyone in your van? good. roll up the windows and lock the doors. we're getting out of here." it was intense, but kind of hilarious in hindsight.

we arrived at our destination, a beautiful church surrounded by mountain views, around 7 and met the pastor. he showed us around, we met up and had devos, and crashed.

DAY 2: Bears and Rookie Bears

we attended church on sunday morning, and were pleasantly impressed with the small, laid back congregation. we went to work on a ranch set up in the mountains for the afternoon. we were going to be hauling "slash" or mountain debris (branches, trees, logs) off the mountain. this is the first time (of many) that these kids blew me away. they worked like champs, working hard and getting scratched up. the work over the next few days was physically the hardest i'd ever done, but mentally it was so freeing. we had set tasks, and all we had to do was accomplish them. it was great to get into a rhythm and have chances to chat with all different kids about their lives. it was the kind of work that felt so good once you were done and could see all you'd accomplished. it didn't require mental dexterity or even an "on" attitude. you just had to get in the dirt and dust and do it.

early in our work, a bear came ambling around the parameter of where we picking up slash (apparently, patrick had scared it away from the trash, and towards our general direction). it was close enough that my heart rate increased noticeably, and i started wondering what would happen if it decided one of our kids looked particularly tasty. it trotted along, unfazed, for awhile as we all stood gaping on. i'd never seen anything like it. beautiful and scary. it disappeared into the trees above without so much as a grunt.

after work, we drove up to trail ridge road. it was freezing, but made for great photo ops. we decided to split into 2 vans after this point, so we could maneuver showers and dinner easily. we took our van to dinner first, then off to shower, then back to the church. at the church, we realized we were locked out, because the other van had the key. we couldn't get ahold of them (great reception up in those mountains), and so the goofiness began to ensue. a group of kids were huddled around the door, chomping on fake, candy cigarettes. dakota and a few others were planning a sort of flash-mob welcome back for the missing van, that included zombie walking and thriller moves. in the midst of this, a car pulled into the parking lot. in the darkness, we joked that it was a cop, and that they better eat their candy cigarettes. suddenly, a street light reflected off the top of the car: it WAS a cop.

i have a horrible aversion to authority, i'm not gonna lie. i've

the other van arrived a few moments later. almost everyone went inside... except dakota, who had suddenly disappeared around the side of the church. after some prompting and shouting his name, we heard a distinctive thud and drag sound being repeated from the darkness. a zombie dakota arrived a few minutes later and broke into a flash mob dance of thriller, all by himself. tony and carlie were confused, but i just died laughing. in that moment, i decided dakota was one of the funniest kids i've ever known.

we ended the night with worship and small groups, which was so refreshing and good.

Day 3: Mike's my Hero

we were off bright and early to the music camp, but got totally lost winding through the mountains. it was the most beautiful scenery, but we also ran into crazy construction, and ended up being over an hour and a half late to the camp. feeling sheepish and sorry, we introduced ourselves to the maintenance man, mike, who could care less what time we arrived. "the work's still here!" he chirped. he trotted off to show us the cabins we would be painting. his age was impossible to tell, but he climbed up on scaffolding like spiderman, and told stories with great flourish and had these youthful, twinkling blue eyes. i could have hung out with mike all week, he was fantastic. 

the kids worked hard in the cool colorado air, and we finished the first cabin in no time. amelia found another cabin with a grand piano inside, and decided to play some music while we painted - it was beautiful. over lunch, some of the counselors at the camp played some music for us, and then gave us odd looks when we all enthusiastically clapped. maybe it's not cool to clap for classical music? who knows. in the afternoon, we finished another cabin under mike's supervision, then cleared some slash for him. we were done pretty early, all things considered. i almost wished there was more for us to do. the place was so peaceful, and painting is such a relaxing pass time. 

that evening, we went climbing all over the alluvial fan in estes park. we took lots of pictures and soaked in the sun. downtown later, we ate mexican with amelia, katie, and ellie, then walked the shops, looking at overpriced, touristy souvenirs. back at the church, we had small groups again. ours went deep, and it was really good. i felt really proud of these kids, for pursuing their faith in so many unpredictable circumstances. during worship, tony played a song that he'd played at david & i's wedding, in honor of our anniversary. it was really thoughtful of him. 

i think this was also the night we stayed up really late watching youtube videos, which set the tone for the rest of our trip ("wouldja look at that! just look at it!" and "heeeeeere pep pep pep" and "it's pretty neat" became regular catchprhrases we overused for days to come). 


Day 4: Pinecones and Needles and Thistles - oh my!

i almost forgot all about including this day in the blog - it was our hardest workday yet. We worked at the YMCA camp (the largest in the world), clearing up a neglected area where many of the female staff lived. As we looked over the lot, it was like a sea of pinecones, and we thought we'd never finish. We split into 2 groups - David went with the "thistlers" who seemed to create many special memories throughout the day, and I went with the landscapers, if you will. We filled over 116 large trash bags FULL of pinecones, needles, and sticks. We moved picnic tables and tried to make the area more welcoming. The ladies thanked us often, and as we scanned our progress at the end of the day, we were amazed by the visual difference we had made. We were also rewarded with getting to eat at the YMCA cafeteria for lunch and dinner. It was a delicious buffet that was a welcome break from our sack lunches we'd been eating.

Day 5: Landscaping 101& Bible Point, and beautiful night of encouragement, openness, and worship

this day, we worked at a safe house, doing a lot of weeding, landscaping, mowing, and other yard work. i feel like everything just came together in perfect synchronicity. the kids were all totally comfortable with each other and hung out with dozens of different combinations of people throughout the day. we had lots of meaningful discussions, and lots of laughs in the midst. the group was in a great rhythm, where everyone had space to be themselves. this was the day it felt like family, and this was the day when i realized i really didn't want to go home. it felt like being at camp again. i had some good chats with katie l., aly, katie m., and others.

once done there, a small handful of kids were willing to hike up to bible point. i felt like i was in colorado and even though i was exhausted, i needed to do some hiking. it was a steep climb up to a point where you could see the whole ymca camp. there was a mailbox at the top, with a bible in it, and a cross made out of 2 big branches. david read a verse and we prayed and took in the sweeping views of minuscule waterfalls and streams, of snow capped mountains and an impending cluster of black clouds off to one side. as soon as we got back to the bottom, the storm came in, with lightning and a downpour, throwing a wrench into our showering plans. luckily, the nurse at the medic station let us use her place to shower (which we all did in record time, using david's stopwatch, so as to get out of there as fast as possible).

dinner was at this massive BBQ place, i think it was called dave's barbecue. we sat w/the leaders, except without carlie - she'd gone back to the church w/ellie who wasn't feeling well. i got a huge meal of ribs and chicken, and devoured most of it. after, we went back to downtown estes for a bit, but anyone could see the kids were dragging and starting to complain. they were tired and spent, because they'd given all their energy to the work projects all week, they were ready to crash.

we ended the night with an exended serivice, lots of worship, and kids sharing from their hearts. we went around the circle and affirmed everyone, and it was a great way to end the trip.


Day 6: The Neverending Dance Party

the title sums it up. the drive back was hilarious to the point of ridiculousness. we made it through our wedding dance mix twice. david made up lyrics to "bailamos" which dissolved him into a fit of laughter. we hit construction and high winds, but it was a smooth drive home, and the perfect end to a great service trip.

pandamania, pandamonium, VBS

vacation bible school came like a lion and went out like a lamb this year, june 20th - 24th. leading up to those days, i eat, breath, and sleep vbs. the intricacies and the details are unreal. it's such a production. but i've got to say that this year i had the greatest volunteers - a lot of them awesome teenagers - and everything just seemed more managable. i think a lot of the kids got to experience God, and were able to feel His love through the stories and creative stations. but, quite possibly the best part of the whole week was seeing my husband in a panda suit. before we returned said suit, he and a couple high school guys took panda pete on one last grand adventure. i decided to include my favorites from their photoshoot here. enjoy :)