an unexpected benefit of marriage has been this new, extended family i've become a part of these last 9 (!) months. mid-April saw david and i cruising into chicago late on a thursday night to spend time with his parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course sarah, brent, and elliot for the weekend.
my childhood taught me that inlaws can be something to dread, and as kids caught in the cross-hairs, you'd better pick a side and stick with it. it's unfortunate how this came to be ingrained, along with other silly ideas like the certainty that i would get married in college, or that i'd always have to live up to my mother's expectations. thankfully, these things can be proven wrong with a little time.
so, let's admit it, i was a little nervous. family dynamics can be complicated, and there are always unspoken rules and customs. in this culture i felt the foreigner, who badly wanted to make a good impression.
david and i got friday morning to ourselves. it was cold and grey, so we fueled up with hot coffee and maneuvered our way to our favorite little section of chicago, where i scored some fantastic thrift-finds at buffalo exchange. we got our default mexican dish at ceasar's mexican restaurant for lunch, and then drove north to cousin jill's house. there we dispersed all the proper hugs and greetings in a whirlwind of activity and conversation. after much debate and a some prolonged exchange about what cars to take, the plans for the night were set.
we all drove to baubie's apartment, so she could meet baby elliot (her great grandson) for the first time. we got pizza and salad and soda, took lots of photos, and crammed into her small space to spend some time with her. baubie sadly has dimentia. she is 94, with the sweetest crinkling eyes and a voice distinct to a lifetime lived in chicago. being around her reminds me of my great grandma, and the poignant awkwardness with which every member deals with her slipping mind is heartbreakingly reminiscent of my own family.
saturday was the main event of the weekend: girls day out in the city. we were going to celebrate caryn's 60th birthday by ditching the guys and getting pedicures, going shopping, and grabbing dinner in wicker park. i felt a little at a loss at first, without david. we drove to the nail salon in aunt lana's car, with aunt linda, caryn, cousin jill and sarah all crammed in the backseat. they stuck me up front for obvious reasons... i'm a foot taller than all of them. the conversation bubbled over and over, layers that i had a hard time jumping into.
samantha met us there, which made us total 7. the day is a blur of songs and photos, of freezing rain and indecisions. after entirely too much time spent at the salon, we fluttered into each subsequent shop a commotion of commanding presence, full of questions and observations. in the midst of it all i had good conversations with just about everyone, and felt myself slowly easing into the pace of a family member. we made it no more than 2 blocks in 2+ hours, and then it was time to get to the italian restaurant for dinner.
i loved where we ate, but i can't remember the name for the life of me. it was intimate, and rustic, but had huge windows looking out onto the bustling street corners as the day shifted to night. there, sarah, samantha, and i got into a great conversation at our end of the table, and i remember getting the feeling that sarah and i would be great friends, even if i hadn't married her brother - it isn't forced or formal or uncomfortable with her at all. she's sweet and sincere, plus we got to talk at length about a mutual crush we'd had around the same time at UNI, which was pretty hilarious to look back on.
david arrived at the end of the meal, just in time for one last rendition of "happy birthday" and the cake. while i was exhausted by the day, i also relished the excitement of being a part of something so different from my own history. i felt lucky - like getting the gift of a second childhood, or a second chance. while david's family is opposite of my own in many ways, there are so many great qualities that i could learn from. they ask blunt questions, they hug for record amounts of time, they laugh a lot, talk a lot, and they are so generous.
on sunday samantha, david, and i went to uncle stevie's artistic apartment for brunch. samantha warned us it would be a lengthy affair, but i loved every minute of it. stevie is a dynamic guy, overflowing with exclamations and stories. he's very charismatic and when he's on, all the world stops to listen. he's also had some low times, but he's searching desperately for redemtion now. his apartment is filled with his woodworking art, and it had an open, fresh feel to it. wide open spaces, wooden floors, and lots of sunlight. david used to tell outrageous stories about his uncle stevie at camp years ago, but i never thought i'd get to meet the guy. it was a good morning, all around.
i realize this is a long entry. i just had to document the trip before i forgot the details. and now a few photos:
