don't blink

sunday nights have always come with a slowly shifting feeling, for me. as the weekend ends, the week hasn't quite begun and there's always this small window left open for reflecting.

this week and weekend have been good and full of summer. monday - memorial day, david and i went on a monumental bike ride from slater to the high trestle trail and back. it was so windy, but felt great in the sun. the day ended with a bbq at the grandparents, where we all whittled the night away on lawn chairs in the front driveway. tuesday was a solid, thought-provoking small group time, topped off w/ice cream from van dees. wednesday, my cousin joey came over to teach david how to change oil, and we fed him pizza before heading over to soup night. thursday was a vbs training meeting that had me so stressed out, but ended with charlie and the chocolate factory being shown out on the lawn outside, across the street, at the art center, so we loaded up on bug spray (it just smells like camp when i put that stuff on!) and popcorn and huddled on blankets w/friends. friday was a party at 8/7 central with yummy food and a good chance to catch up w/some rarely seen friends. saturday we woke early to meet my dad and jenalee as they finished their 20K. i felt so proud of them, and my dad was in fine form as we strolled the farmer's market, talking to anyone who would pause to listen. saturday night was a bbq for citybranch, where we got some free food and played yard games w/friends. sunday was a neighborhood outreach with outrageous inflatables, and delicious tacos, and fun times w/zion kids.

in the midst of all this busyness, i got a text on saturday morning that a guy at my church had passed away in his sleep, suddenly. he was 43. i know his family well, and he was a wonderful example of a faithful, gentle man. he always helped usher, or sub for sunday school. he was peaceful, a staple at the church with a kind word or a warm grin. i don't mourn for him - i know he's where he's meant to be now. but he leaves behind a wife and 3 kids. two sons who won't have a father to teach them how to drive. a daughter who won't have her dad walk her down the aisle (who's facebook post tonight said something about the time of "daddy's visitation" and i about burst into tears). a wife who comes home to an empty bed. that breaks my heart.

that kind of stuff can stop me in my tracks. suddenly, all the busyness and rushing falls away. the pettiness and the short answers become embarassing. the urgency and the beauty of life flower up all around me. this is going to go so fast. i want to be so incredibly thankful, and i want to treasure it all, and i should never be so arrogant as to think that i'm immune, or invincible. we can't run or hide from the inevitable tragedy of life. but we can fight it for all it's worth, by loving dangerously, unabashedly. every. single. day.