like a first date

my understanding of the world has expanded in this place. my compassion, my patience, my humility and my grace tested and pressed into new shapes and sizes. walking home through puddles and slick yellow ginkgo leaves strewn about uneven sidewalks, even 3 months in, nothing is quite familiar.

all the constant change, the newness and uncertainty, allows me to appreciate my husband in new ways, and last night was no exception. it was a dreary, rain-soaked evening, so we stayed in and made spaghetti. after dinner, with no real plans and nothing to do, we lingered at the table and talked about family, about past memories and favorite stories. we laughed as we recalled some of the music we used to listen to, so i got out my ipod and scrolled through to find songs almost forgotten, lost at the bottom, beneath stacks of new songs and artists. we plugged in speakers and laughed as we nodded our heads in rhythm, old memories and concerts stirring to life behind our eyes.

like teenagers we talked together, looking up the latest on old bands, googling their tourdates and press photos, wondering what they were up to these days, all the while listening to music, our music, to pass the quiet damp night.

and so, i am thankful for all the ways that david is familiar to me. the stories and the life we share is a comfort and a calm. and yet, in that old, well known space of our friendship, we still manage to have so much newness everyday. we create new jokes, find new movies and songs and books to love, and learn new things about each other all the time.

when i was young, i worried that if i ever married, i might run out of conversation. i used to think that at some point, all the words will have been said, all the affections expressed, and then marriage would become boring, mundane, and maybe even a trap.

i am thankful that (while i am no expert) this doesn't seem to be the case. nights like last night feel like first dates all over again, and there is always more to know, more to say. i suppose that's why we ought to marry our best friends; if they're already your favorite person to hang out with, then it's like you get a neverending slumber party to fill with laughter and antics and eating in bed. sounds like a pretty good deal to me.