during the day friday, i did the usual things: i ran, i completed some errands and wrote some bills. then, in the afternoon, mary moved in. this was, in itself, an exciting event. it adds a little more life to the apartment, adds a dimension of crowded comfort. another person coming and going, using the same spaces, more lights on and conversation flowing and doors opening and closing. five years ago, another person in my space would have made me uncomfortable. but now, i welcome it. the less alone we are, the better.
in the late afternoon, david and i went on a bike ride. david had found a 1985 schwinn 10-speed for me at a garage sale, and while i wasn't thrilled at the moment of purchase, she's been growing on me. i haven't biked in a long while, and i think i woke up groaning muscles that had been slumbering for years. it was hard work. we biked over to beaverdale to look at a duplex. it was perfect crisp spring weather.
david and i then went to help amanda and sarah move to their new apartment on high street. it was good to see them, and good to be the kind of friends that show up for that sort of thing. we made multiple trips in and out, until the sky darkened and the rain started. their new place is really adorable and has lots of character. afterwards, we all retreated to a mexican restaurant where we closed the place down. this made the weekly chips & salsa count 3 - monday, wednesday, and friday david and i ate an embarrassing amount of chips & salsa. we need to work on this.
saturday began strangely enough. i walked outside at 8 AM, squinting in the early sunlight, searching the streets for my car... until i realized i'd left it at david's the day before. i tried to call him a dozen times, then gave up and walked to caribou; the first and only time i have walked to work. it was a still, bright morning, but my new chuck taylors were not prepared to walk 2 miles, so my feet developed huge blisters. i showed up very late, limping and sweaty, to a scene of mass chaos. spilled coffee, broken plates, bitter remarks and unfinished cigarettes litter the spaces behind the counter. i jumped in as quickly as i could, filling the gaps and trying to smile and stay out of chris's way as much as possible.
thursday is my last day at caribou. i'm scared to be without the second paycheck, but i felt like that job was wearing me down so much more than i was able to build anyone else up. i wanted to be a light, an encouragement, a listening ear. i think i accomplished those things for a little while, but now i feel like i've got nothing left to give in that environment. people ask me if i'm sad to leave it; i'm not. but i will miss all that free coffee.
after work, i changed in the caribou bathroom and met david outside to go to uncle mark's retirement "change of command" ceremony. it was a huge military affair filled with formalities and speeches. it's interesting to see mark surrounded in such seriousness. david took pictures and ellen cried and apparently 5 military personnel fainted from standing so long. my whole family was there. some of us ended up at grandma's afterwards for dinner.
at grandma's, my cousin joey was quieter than usual, more distant, ate less. understandably so - his girlfriend died in a car accident a little over a week ago. i can't imagine something so devastating, can't comprehend what a seventeen year old boy does to grieve, to move on. his dad talked more outrageously than usual... maybe to swallow up the elephant in the room. our family is great at camaraderie, unity, laughing and joking and reminiscing. but i don't know if we have a great capacity for talking about death, for cushioning sorrow with words or gestures. i wish i would have said something, but i didn't. everything i thought i should say just felt shallow, contrived.
saturday night, david and i packed in a whirlwind and headed north to ledges state park. there, we met up with anu, ryan, zach, and mary, for a beautiful night of camping. we arrived to tents already up, a fire roaring, and coolers and plastic bags full of food and beverages.
i've got to admit, these are some of my favorite people in the whole world. it could not have been a better crowd and secretly, i was so glad it was a small group. the dynamics & conversation were effortless. sometimes, in some circles, i feel like i need to be "on" - an extra fun and extra animated version of myself. like i have to try. not with these friends. everyone is so down-to-earth, so honest, so sincere, and so unique. they filled me back up after a long week of disconnect. we ate burgers and s'mores and drank really good beer. everyone telling stories, asking questions, riveted around the picnic bench long into the pitch black night. ryan talking about how he was attacked by monkeys in japan, anu telling stories of her childhood with her nanny in calcutta, david talking about mountain climbing in arizona, mary talking about her high speed chase in high school, all these fascinating lives like books, open to the best chapters, the most interesting and well-written paragraphs.
later, i laughed harder than i have in months. you know, that uncontrollable, gasping-for-air laughter. i could barely breathe - zach was modeling his "face blanket" which was custom-made for him, apparently because he'd once complained how his nose often got so cold when he slept. when he pulled it over his face it looked like a plaid klu klux klan hood attached to a pillow, and i just died from how absurdly ridiculous he looked.
the night was long, filled with treefrogs and confused birds and distant howling, and the morning came early. we discovered david had ended up sleeping in his car most of the night due to self-diagnosed, early-onset RLS. but despite some discomfort and frozen toes, i felt the whole excursion had been blissfully good.
sunday was full, but in the afternoon david and i signed a lease for a 1 bedroom apartment that is a dream come true, on the corner of polk blvd and grand avenue. it's cheap, all hardwood floors and old des moines charm. we have a breakfast nook, a patio, a den, and best of all - all our southern windows open up to picturesque views of the des moines art center, right across the street. there's trails and parks and sculptures to explore, and i can't wait. all this came after i'd given up my hopes to God - deciding that if He wanted me to live in a junky place, i'd live in a junky place. if He wanted me to be poor, i'd be poor. i'd cried about it, complained about it, and just plain given-up... and then this place fell in my lap. i get it. thank you, Jesus.
and so, spring is here. i welcoming all of this with open arms.
the night was long, filled with treefrogs and confused birds and distant howling, and the morning came early. we discovered david had ended up sleeping in his car most of the night due to self-diagnosed, early-onset RLS. but despite some discomfort and frozen toes, i felt the whole excursion had been blissfully good.
sunday was full, but in the afternoon david and i signed a lease for a 1 bedroom apartment that is a dream come true, on the corner of polk blvd and grand avenue. it's cheap, all hardwood floors and old des moines charm. we have a breakfast nook, a patio, a den, and best of all - all our southern windows open up to picturesque views of the des moines art center, right across the street. there's trails and parks and sculptures to explore, and i can't wait. all this came after i'd given up my hopes to God - deciding that if He wanted me to live in a junky place, i'd live in a junky place. if He wanted me to be poor, i'd be poor. i'd cried about it, complained about it, and just plain given-up... and then this place fell in my lap. i get it. thank you, Jesus.
and so, spring is here. i welcoming all of this with open arms.
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